Wow...like a week later.

Hey...sorry for such the long delay. Let me explain that I'm living with my parents and they have a computer the size of a car so regardless of the fact that I don't dare take the chance of deleting history and such, I can't get onto my sites for fear they could read what I was writing from miles away. Anyways, my laptop is shotty. It only works in certain places....thank god this Starbucks being one of them. Sooooo I can't be on here as often as I like. Which is driving me mad. Had a couple binges this week but FEEL (my pants are looser) that I've lost a little even though I should get my period soon. TMI I know. I'm not weighing until December first. I know it's kind of arbitrary....but the first just feels good. I can't explain it any further than that.

I'm on all liquids as of yesterday and there is a little behind this. I, as I've mentioned on my old blog before, use food as a punishment to other people. I hope that it hurts them (logically knowing it only hurts me). When I get angry, I stop eating, when I want someone to hurt, I stop eating. So, that being said, Trisha and I stopped talking. I told her I just couldn't anymore. I realized I'd been carrying on an emotional relationship with her for the last two years and it's literally driving me insane. This is probably the worst idea ever since Trisha is the ONLY person I talk to in my life. Could be dangerous. So yes, I'm being self destructive in that sense. And I'm on liquids until she just can't take it anymore and calls me anyways. Until her heart can't stand the separation. I'm on a solid food boycott...for love. What...a....wacko. Meanwhile, I hope I crash and burn. I hope my heart explodes. Our "anniversary" is on Saturday.

In other news, and this is somewhat relevant. I met this girl at work and we've really hit it off....friendship wise, just so we are clear. (I'm going asexual...if "going asexual" is even possible....we'll save that for another blog). Anyways, we've been through SO many of the same things it's scary. But it is absolutely the most wonderful feeling in the world to have someone to talk to about shit. So yay! Maybe just having this person to talk to will allow me to move past Trisha.

Okie dokes....that's that. Sorry again for such a delay here. I'll try to find more time to hit up the Starbucks.