Animals and Ultimate Goal Weights.

Well, I'm up early. Which is a good thing. I plan on getting my run in and walking the dogs and doing my stretches. I highly doubt I will be able to do the splits in a month but I am noticing improvement in my flexibility after only 3 days of twice a day stretching.

Yesterdays intake was alright. My usual coffee, a nectarine, banana and soup. Today's scheduled intake was a lentil and rice concoction that I was going to make and soup. I'm altering it a bit though because I don't want to make the lentils too early in the week. My fridge already looks too full and I don't want anything to go bad. I have several tomatoes, nectarines, spinach, and hummus that I need to finish up before cooking anything. So today, before work....some piece of fruit. Lunch at work: soup. And if necessary when I get home hummus and veggies. Though I'd like to do without.

Trisha is probably coming to visit in September. Bring on the obsessive and unattainable UGW. I have 3 months to drop a good 15 pounds. Really I'd just like my heart to stop in the process. Do you know what I've realized? Fucking with food is my plan B....always. I feel right now, despite how amazing things are going with Sondra, I will never be happy in a committed relationship with kids and the perfect house and job and blah blah blah. I will also never be happy having the lame ass job I have, being single, and living a lonely life. Will being skinny make me happy? No. Nothing will make me happy. There is something wrong with my brain. I think I was born to be miserable. And while being skinny won't make me happy I feel it's the one thing I can hold over people's heads. I see pictures on facebook of my friends from HighSchool who are married and have 3 kids and such and think to myself "Fuck....they got fat" (yes, I'm an awful person). But it seems to overshadow the fact that they have a "perfect" life and I....well don't. So if I can just have this one thing. If I can look at them and say "Well, at least I weigh less than I did in High School you beluga whale" (That really is an unintentional insult to beluga whales...they are gorgeous creatures...included a picture to prove it) then everything is okay. It's alright that my life sucks. Wow. Ever just type without thinking? I'm such a horrible person. I really am.

Anyways, this got my brain going. I hate using animals as insults. I do it all the time. Like most people. Why is it that we compare ugly, huge things to these beautiful, amazing, beings?

I love cows. Seriously love them. I want to hug this one. Being called a cow should be a compliment.

Prettythin users out there....anyone having problems posting in the forums? I hit the reply button and start to type but nothing shows up. It's really fucking annoying. 

When I hit 100 again I'll be posting my first vlog. Nothing to get too excited about but it gives me a goal to shoot for. Will probably be around the end of July.