Many The Miles

Sara Bareilles seems to make life better...always. It's cliche to say shit like "such and such artist's music saved my life" or "music is life" and I'm not necessarily claiming that. What I am saying is that her music seems to always put things into perspective for me. It makes me breathe a little. Calm down a bit. Find things I appreciate instead of always focusing on the negative. After the second failure, when I got home from the hospital I felt absolutely empty. Empty even of despair. I felt like all feeling had left my body. I felt more suicidal than ever but too exhausted and disappointed in myself to dare try for a third time. I remember shortly after I bought tickets to see Sara B with my brother in California before heading home for Christmas. I had no job. Really no money to be buying tickets like that but I did. And it was well worth the purchase. I remember when she played "Many the Miles" it felt like all the background noise stopped for a second and all I heard were these lyrics:

There're too many things I haven't done yet

Too many sunsets

I haven't seen

You can't waste the day wishing it'd slow down

You would have thought by now

I'd have learned something

I made up my mind when I was a young girl

I've been given this one world

I won't worry it away

But now and again I lose sight of the good life

I get stuck in a low light

But then love comes in

Despite the fact that I'd heard that song numerous times over the last year, it wasn't until the live performance that I actually got it. Felt it. I don't really know exactly why I'm reminicing over this at the moment. Perhaps it's the fact that I watched the Live at the Fillmore DVD last night or have just had an overall bad attitude for the past few months and I'm tired of feeling sad, and angry and disappointed. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. This freaks me out (hence the capital letters) I am a college graduate. Working at a grocery store...where I daily do everything but wipe the customer's asses. I HATE IT. I HATE MY LIFE. But I feel hopeless and helpless in changing anything because I am 28 and I still have no clue what I want to do when I "grow up". Anyways, so I guess I'm trying to take a little Sara B happy pill here...Sara B therapy if you will. So I thought I'd share those lyrics.

In other news. I bought a vitamix. In an attempt to be healthy. I haven't used it yet. I bought it almost 2 weeks ago. It's beautiful but I'm slightly intimidated by it. I'm hoping by next Monday I can get cracking. It is going to make a raw diet so much easier. 

Sondra and I celebrate our 6 month anniversary at the end of the month. We are going to see RENT. We are also going to be taking queer tango classes! I'm so excited for this! I've wanted to learn to tango SINCE hearing "Tango Maureen" in RENT...so it's perfect! And she is excited to do this too which in turn makes me even more excited that she is totally game and wasn't all "that's a lame idea but I'll take the class with you because I love you" haha. I graduated from Very Beginning Ballet to Beginning Ballet today :) Woohoo! Learning pirouettes now! Lol...I feel like a geek taking ballet classes but it's so much fun and a really good workout. This beginning class is only 4 weeks and then I go to Beginning/Intermediate Ahhh! Will also be joining in on a few Ball Joint Doll meetups this month. Anyone else here a collector? I'd say overall...despite this pseudo, lame ass depressive bit I've had going for the last few months, I'm pushing myself to be social and hangout outside of the apartment a little. Yay go me :)

I also need some more blogs to follow. If anyone has some good suggestions please respond below :) Also, is anyone else interested in doing vlogs? I set up a place to do private vlogs but I have yet to do any. Or does anyone know of an ed related vlog community? Sorry for this super long post.

<3 Jade