Monday morning MY scale said 95. My mom's 92.5. I did two days of no food and then a slice of celebration roast and some salad on Christmas....so I'm sure I just lost water weight but I'm happy to see that I beat my goal for this week which was 95.5. Next Monday is 94. When I weighed this morning on my mom's scale (everyone was home so I couldn't sneak my scale into the bathroom) it said 95.5....so I know I gained a lot back...but I haven't binged. So I'm trying not to freak out and will just wait to assess on Monday and will determine my running schedule for that week depending.
Trisha and I had an epic blowout this morning. I can't even get into the details because it just upsets me so much. I feel so sad about where things are at with us. And I want to make her feel as guilty as I do. Eating won't be a problem this week.
Lyndsey and I are getting somewhat serious. Oh wait? I'm not sure I updated you all on my Christmas evening after work with her. We talked....and kissed. For the first time. It was nice. I stayed at her place a couple nights ago...and that was nice as well. I'm nervous. I really never thought I'd get comfortable with someone again...to even consider...sex. And we are definitely entering that stage of things....ugh...it's moving fast. We talk about everything before anything ever happens. Which I like. And I have nerves like you wouldn't believe about this next step. But then again, so does she. She has never actually had sex. We will be having an actual in depth conversation because she has had some definite abuse take place in the past and I'm terrified to have that talk. She is much further along in her processing of all of her stuff. I have barely admitted to myself what happened to me and hearing her shit scares me. Ugh...well this was a cryptic paragraph. But basically we will be talking before we have sex. You didn't need to know that but I'm talking about it anyways. This blog has become my dumping ground and I apologize. I've been terrible about responding to comments and reading. What I need right now is just a place for free flow thought. I will get back to better soon.
Hope your ok sweetie :( Your losing weight pretty fast, 95lbs on it's own is tiny! :D Soon it'll be 94, then 93, then 9!! You an do it!! xx
ReplyDelete95?! jealous:( I don't feel like I will ever even get down to 100. But like Skinny Mess said, you are losing fairly fast-be careful please!!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you & Lyndsey have quite a connection, don't let it scare you away, especially since you are still stressing over Trisha. There might be something special there, it's hard to find someone you can talk to so easily, but don't feel the need to make things move so fast! Enjoy each other-no need to rush anything (emotions or sex). Sex always complicates things anyways.