Happy December first?
God, I love the first. I also love Mondays. I wish it was Monday December first. Oh a girl can dream.
Anyways, I weighed myself this morning. And, I'm not happy with the number for completely opposite reasons than I thought I'd be. First off, I thought I'd be around 104...I even convinced myself yesterday as I was buying the scale I wouldn't be completely depressed if I was around 107...111. I felt deep inside that I was going to be above 104. But it was going to be okay. "I'm going to start running...fasting, 800 cals, fasting, juices, soups, coffee....yes it will be alright" So, I kind of closed my eyes when I got on the scale...determined that no matter what it said....I would....be alright. Well it said 99. Completely naked, before showering, after my run.
"Fuck, I must have put the battery in wrong."
*pops out battery, shakes vigorously*
reweigh.
Flashing 99.
"Fuck, I got a broken scale."
Shower...obsess, obsess....
Dress.
reweigh
Flashing 100.
Listen for dad....sneak upstairs.
reweigh on mom's scale....3 times.
Flashing 97.
"God damn motherfucking scales! I pay for accuracy dammit!"
So, it's bittersweet. I don't feel under 100lbs. And I'm getting a new scale this weekend. I think I'm going to have to pull out the big bucks and get a nice one. Because now I don't trust this $20 clunker. And I'm also convinced that I've just lost a ton of muscle and it's all turned to fat. Because I still feel like I'm rolling out of my jeans. Anyways, enough of that.
Thank you for your comments Depressed and Bones :) I meet with my therapist on the 14th so we'll see how I'm feeling by then.
Monday January 1st would be best :) but there isn't a Monday 1st until next October :( - yeah, I'm that say I checked!
ReplyDeleteThat's amazing! Youre double didgets! You have no idea how jealous I am (in a good way :)) just out of interest, how tall are you?
Lottie x
Just because you don't feel 99lbs doesn't mean you aren't! Just think that you are for now :D Just keep doing what your doing! xx
ReplyDeletewow congrats on being below 100! even if you don't feel like it you should be proud of yourself:) I'm jealous!
ReplyDeleteI also love the first of the month, first of the month on a monday is like christmas, its like a fresh new start every time.
Oh wow, well done on the loss... I hope it hits you soon, you should enjoy this! I guess whatever you're doing works, so keep it up, xx
ReplyDeleteI love Mondays too. Everyone seems to hate them. Even though you don't feel 99lbs, it doesn't mean you aren't. I know I never felt 99lbs when I was. Come to think of it, what is it meant to feel like? Haha. xx
ReplyDeleteaww thats amazing , well done !!
ReplyDeletemy muscle is getting in the way of what really matters , the digits. although i appear smaller and firmer the number are going up. DEPRESSED !! Xx