Resolutions and such.

1. Find a gym community...YMCA possibly? Yoga, self defense classes, swimming?, zumba
2. Take an art and dance class
3. Learn to verbally communicate my emotions to trustworthy company
4. Read more and keep up a book blog
5. Product review blog
6. Reach and maintain a weight I am comfortable with
7. Make more quality friends
8. Volunteer at Pasado's Safe Haven and Pigs Peace Sanctuary
9. Paint more
10. Pay $2000 off my credit card
11. Walk the dogs daily
12. Buy less shit
13. Find peace in the confusion
14. Explore, be spontaneous, live and stress less
15. Train and run a 5K, 1/2 marathon and marathon
16. Go to more concerts, more free concerts
17. Get more involved in the vegan community...do more for animals
18. Be more organized with my bills and mail in general
19. Get contacts, wear makeup...feel hot even when I'm not wearing those things
20. Get a half sleeve tattoo


I don't feel too great today. I did my 10 yesterday night. No running this morning, I fucked up my knee pretty bad again. Grr.

I came downstairs to a full fucking and disgusting breakfast. Which of course I'm not expected to eat because nothing is even remotely vegan. But it reeks of butter and sausage and nastiness in this house and it's irritating me. Watching and hearing my family shovel this shit into their mouths makes me want to scream.

Yesterday on the way to Seattle my dad was getting on my food crap. Because it was 2pm and I wasn't hungry. I seriously eat most of my calories for the day after 4pm and fill up on coffees before that. So I was a little upset that we were going to that vegan cafe so early....since he was already being in my shit I knew I couldn't get away with a salad so settled for a Jamaican tofu wrap. UUUUUUUGGGGHHHH GOD WHY. It was heaven. And I tried to enjoy it since we were at this cute fancy vegan bistro. I love those places. I love veganism. I love the hot girl with all the cherry tattoos and low cut t-shirt serving us. I love the exposed brick wall and sprig of *insert some fancy twig name* they put in the water for extra flavor. So I ate. I enjoyed? I tried. I finished. When I got home I ran. And I felt like I was either going to puke or shit myself. Neither of which I did, but it was not an enjoyable run. Around mile 6 my knee started aching. By 10 I was gimping around. And now, this morning.....oh lord.

I found an apartment yesterday. This brings me joy. I step out onto the road of my apartment and am actually greeted by the space needle. I can WALK to the space needle. My apartment is a studio. You walk in and there is a kitchen, a living room, and a bathroom. And it's all mine. Lyndsey says she is going to help me sage cleanse the place and ALSO (so excited for this!) going to paint me something to hang in there.

So New Years. This is going to be THE night...for me and Lyndsey. I'm freaking out. So fucking scared. I'm going to Target real quick before work to buy cute underwear. I have had NO reason for cute underwear in quite sometime. Trisha and I got so comfortable around year 3 that it just didn't matter anymore. I'm getting strawberries and champagne. I told her I would eat strawberries. And she said she would too. She has major anxiety about eating in front of people, has had a past with eds (bulimia is what I know about but I suspect more). We both play this game where we "don't worry" about each other...while secretly stressing. This is something I think that will become an issue later on in our relationship.

Anyways, real quick I want to say thank you to:
Depressed Skinny Mess
All that wander
Bones
Mich

You have been consistent commenters and I'm not ignoring that. I really do appreciate what you have to say. I'm sorry I've been so lousy at repaying the kindness you have all shown me in response to my rants. Tack it on to my new years resolutions. Be better at commenting :) Love you all.